Why isn't being a mom enough?

This should go without saying, but just in case....

I love my daughter. In ways I never knew I could love someone. She makes me laugh every day and when I look at those sweet cheeks and big blue eyes, my heart melts.

I work part time from my house grooming dogs. I try and groom while Grace is napping so that I can spend time with her and get my job done. It's exhausting, but I keep pretty busy this way.

I volunteer a lot. I work with Irish Fest Milwaukee, Pets Helping People and the Brew City Bully Club. I walk in parades, attend meetings, go to events.

I have a decently active social life. I have wonderful friends and a great family that I enjoy spending time with.

So, with all of these things, why don't I feel fulfilled?

Why do I feel lonely and bored?

Why do I feel like I am "just a mom"?

I know a lot of it boils down to money. Every time my husband and I have to talk about finances, my heart drops. We live well, but we have had to make a lot of cuts since we had Grace. So, anytime a discussion comes up about saving money, I feel like I'm useless. If I were able to work, maybe we wouldn't have this problem. If I could find a place to run my grooming shop, I could really make some money and we wouldn't have to be so concerned about saving those extra pennies. There's something about not being able to really provide to the household income that makes you feel less as a member of said home.

Some of my issues stem from boredom.

Do you know how many things you can do with a nine month old?

Do you know how many of those things require walking and are much more difficult after a foot surgery?

We move from playing in the living room to playing in her bedroom. If it's nice out, we play outside.

We play with the same 10 toys every time. I try and make it fun and interactive, but she has the attention span of a hummingbird on crack.

So, how do I remedy my situation? How do I feel like I am living a full life?

I know it should be as simple as looking at my wonderful daughter and seeing that she's happy, fed and loved. Is that really enough though?

Would I feel better if I had a 9-5 where I was contributing more to the household? Probably not. Most of my money would just go to childcare and I would miss our time together.

Being a mom was never my purpose in life. I love being Grace's mom, but I need to be more than that.

Unfortunately, I have yet to find the answer.

Maybe there isn't one.

Maybe I'm not alone feeling like this and we're all struggling to feel fulfilled.

And maybe that's enough to just make me feel a little better.