Now what?

I am so glad that August is over. I know a lot of people get sad at the start of September as it means back to school and the start of fall, but I am ridiculously happy. August kicked my butt and although I did a damn fine job of conquering all that the month threw at me, I am freaking exhausted.

This is not a new feeling for me. Being a coordinator for Milwaukee Irish Fest means that every August is tough, but this one was doubly so. Not only did I complete my first triathlon, my company also hosted its second annual Pet Fest – a one day festival that is free to the public and you can bring your pet.

All I want to do right now is sleep. I’m pretty sure I could sleep 12 hours a day and still not feel well rested after surviving August.

I know that I need to get back to my normal life which means training at least four days a week. Unfortunately, knowing and doing are two very different things right now. Every day I tell myself that tomorrow I will start training again. And every morning, I just keep hitting that snooze button.

My biggest issue is always motivation. I know that working out is good for me and that I will feel better once back in my normal pattern, but getting started just sucks. I don’t have another race planned right now, so it’s really easy to say that I will just start tomorrow instead. One more day off won’t hurt, right? I completed a triathlon, I get to take a break, right?

I know I can’t be the only one with this struggle. So, how the hell do you all get motivated to work out? Or are all of my friends “those people” that just love to work out and don’t need a reason to get off their butt?

I am reluctantly going for a run with my sister tonight. And I say reluctantly because I feel like I have already set myself up for disappointment and failure.

Since it has been a while, there is no way this will be a good run.

It’s really hot and humid outside, why go running? I’m going to die of heat exhaustion.

These stupid voices in my head are already trying to convince me to just go home and sit on the couch. I need to learn to ignore them and get out there.

So, for today, my motivation is the fear of god from my sister. Because if I cancel on her, I will get the dreaded “Fine”.  For those of you that have never gotten a “Fine” before from a woman, you may not understand my fear. Let me tell you, with the intonation in my sister’s voice, that word means exactly the opposite of what it should. The guilt that drips off of the word is palpable.

So, I will put on my big girl panties and go for a 4-miler. Maybe I should have her threaten me every day to go work out….

And lest you think that my sister is some evil work out dictator, rest assured, she is a lovely person. Lovely and frightening.

I am a Triathlete

Two weeks ago, I completed my first triathlon.

I am a triathlete.

I really, really love saying that.

I learned a lot from not only the training process leading up to my first tri, but also from the experience itself.  I learned how far I can push my body and that even when I think I’ve hit my limit, I can will my legs to keep moving, albeit slowly.

I learned that I cannot swim in a straight line. Practicing in the pool has the added benefit of a lovely blue line that I can follow back and forth. In the open water, there were buoys and lifeguard rafts. The buoys were fairly easy to see, the lifeguard rafts blended into the color of the water.

I learned (but was not surprised) that I am not a biker. While I finished the bike much faster than I wanted to, I never felt good about the ride. Each push and pull felt like a struggle. At first, I was disheartened that every rider I saw was passing me. I started to beat myself up that I couldn’t go faster. But then, accompanied by the traditional “On your left!” came words of encouragement.

“On your left! Keep it up girl, you got this!”

“On your left! You’re already halfway there, keep going!”

I started to smile despite the fact that my legs were already starting to ache and my ass was killing me.

I had trained for the run with my sister at a 5/2 interval pace trying to average a 12 minute/mile. By the time I got to the run, I could only muster a 3/2. Again, I started to beat myself up, pushing myself so hard I thought I was going to collapse. But then, at some point, I realized, that it didn’t matter how much I ran or walked, I just needed to get across the finish line. So, I just kept going. I smiled at the other runners and offered my own words of encouragement as I passed someone by. I finished my run in 43 minutes, which might seem slow to people, but my 5K PR is 38.38.

Am I ok with the fact that I was 5 minutes slower on this race considering I had just swam and biked for an hour before I started running? Yeah. I’m ok with that.

I learned that while I was really self conscious in my tri kit before the race (the top kept sliding up over my belly and I kept trying to hold it down), once I started going, I didn't care a single bit what I looked like. It was absolutely comfort over fashion.

I also learned that triathletes come in all shapes and sizes. I was really worried about all the super fit people that I would be competing against, but I saw women that ranges for super thin, to insanely fit and everything in between.

My goal for the race was to finish is 2:15. That was what I had trained for. I finished in 2:07. I call that a major win.

All in all, I learned that I should have trained a little harder. While all of my workouts pushed me a little, I should have incorporated a little more speed work. I was so concerned with being able to go the distance, that I didn’t think about how working on speed training could really help me. Now I know for next time.

Because there will be a next time.

Living an Active Lifestyle

I wouldn't say that my husband and I are inactive, but we certainly aren't an exceptionally active couple. We take the dogs for walks, or go for the occasional bike ride... We try to walk to Trader Joe's or up to the bar for dinner instead of driving while they weather is nice... But we certainly weren't the couple that would trade couch time for a long walk... just because.

Well, triathlon training has changed that.

First, I try and get up every morning now to workout. Even if it's just to take the dogs on a walk before work, I try and do something. And when you have four dogs, you need help. So, when it came down to it, John had to get up with me.

Second, I wanted a balance between my "normal life" and my tri training life. I loved that I was eating well and getting in shape. That didn't mean I was willing to sacrifice time with my favorite beers or not get that Friday night fish dry. So, it seemed like a simple solution to pick places we can walk to. Especially with the women's world cup games on tv, I wanted to get out and watch them with friends. Choosing the bar just about a mile away from the house was a smart choice that got me out and walking and still let me have a fish fry and a beer. Or two...

And, you know that whole getting up early to workout every morning thing? Well, that changed what my nights looks like too. Not only am I ready for bed earlier, but my semi-grown up brain now starts to yell at me the closer I get to 10pm. It reminds me that my alarm is going off quite soon and if I don't get a decent nights sleep, well, that 6 am run is going to SUCK.

The other tricky part is that when your alarm goes off early and you start your day with a good workout, well, I typically don't even make it to 10pm. Yesterday was a lovely Sunday morning. I slept in and was excited when I woke up to do a brick workout. John and I rode our bikes for just under an hour and then I went for a quick 15 minute run. I felt great after. (well not great, but I didn't want to die...) We even joined friends and family to watch Hurling at a local park. By the time I got home, however, I was wiped. I barely made it to 9pm before crawling into the bedroom.

All in all, what it comes down to, is that I automatically think of the healthier option first. I don't want to cook dinner? Ok, what can we walk to instead. All of our tv shows are done for the summer? Let's walk to Trader Joe's for some more avocados. I just really love that being active sits at the front of my brain now instead of buried somewhere in the back behind eating kale and the dentist. (Just kidding Dr. Graham, love you tons!)

I would love any tips that people have on great, local activities for couples to do together. If you have any that can include dogs, extra bonus!

(and just because I like adding pics to my blog, here's one of Anakin and Wash enjoying some outside time :) )

Brick

"What the hell was I thinking?"

That was the main thought I had today as I started the run of my first brick workout.

A brick is when you do two of your activities back to back. Today, it was a 45 minute bike ride followed by a 10 minute run. The bike ride was a bit challenging, but that has a lot to do with the fact that I am still adjusting t my new bike and my muscles are adjusting.

I pulled into our driveway, hopped off the bike and swapped my bike shoes for my running shoes. I switched my watch from recording a bike ride to ready for a run. I walked down the driveway and hit start.

Here is my thoughts over the next ten minutes.

Minute Zero:
This is not how legs work. Hello? Legs? You are not made of jello, knock it off.

Minute One:
Ok, getting the hang of this now.

Minute Three:
*looks down at watch* Why the hell are you running so fast? Slow down! No wonder you're already out of breath!

Minute Five:
Ok, you can walk now. But just for a little bit. You're trying to push yourself here. Don't puss out now!

Minute Seven:
Just run home. That's all you have to do. That's not so hard, is it?

Minute Eight:
Just two more minutes. That's not that long. Think of all the things you can do in two minutes. You can make microwave popcorn. Commercial breaks are only two minutes, that's nothing!

Minute Nine:
Seriously?!?! It's only been a minute? What the hell. That was the longest minute ever. This triathlon business was the dumbest thing I have ever decided to do. What the hell was I thinking?

Minute Ten:
I did it. Time to walk this off and try not to collapse into the lawn.

I walked around our property and promptly collapsed into the hammock. My first thought?

I can totally do that again.

Finding a Way to Love Training

Getting into triathlon training hasn't been easy. I am NOT a morning person, but with my hectic schedule, training after work isn't always an option. So, there I am, every morning, with my alarm going off, having a silent argument with myself.

"Get out of bed"
"Just 5 more minutes"
"Really, cause how much good will 5 minutes do?"
"You don't know. I could feel amazing in 5 minutes"
"No you won't. You will still feel like sleeping. Just get up."
"But I don't want to. What if I just work out later?"
"There is no time later. You have to do it now."
"Fine. But just so you know, I am doing this under protest."

Then it's the scramble to get dressed quickly and get some food into my body so I don't crash during my workout all while giving myself enough time to complete the workout I planned for myself.

I thought this would get easier over time, but it hasn't. I still loathe mornings. The real kicker though, is that I feel fan-freaking-tastic after I complete my workout. I have a ton more energy when I walk into work and don't want to automatically punch people. Why is it that my brain can't remember that while my alarm is going off? (seriously, if any of you know a secret, please tell me. I'm real sick of this argument!)

The other thing I can't remember at 5am? How crappy I feel when I miss a workout. Whether on accident or on purpose, missing a workout now makes me feel, well, blah. I just feel like a part of me isn't there. Again, my brain chooses to "forget" that fact while my alarm is going off. Instead it tells me how nice and warm my bed is. Or how if I get up, I'll disturb one of the dogs and I wouldn't want to do that, would I? (seriously, how can you want to wake him up?)

By the time I get up, let out all of the dogs and drink my pre-workout Advocare Spark, I feel ok. Still not quite ready to take on the world, but getting there. By the time I'm actually walking out the door, I feel pretty good. Maybe writing all of this down will help me remember all of this at 5am tomorrow. Well, probably not. But I will get up anyway. It might not be right at 5, it may be closer to 5:30 (I do love my snooze button) but I will get up and I will train. Because the one thing I keep thinking about is the feeling of accomplishment I will have when I cross that finish line. Just imagining running through that shoot puts the biggest smile on my face. I can't wait to get there.

Jealousy

It's hard to not get envious at the gym. You're surrounded by people who have the same goals as you, but they have different body types or may have been working at their goals longer. I see women half my size strutting by me and I pray that they aren't looking at how high cut my swim suit is or that my bathrobe is a little too small.

The other day I went for a quick swim before work and all the lanes were full. I sat down on the bench hoping that someone was finishing up soon. I'm much too scared to ask someone to share a lane, but luckily there was a kind woman who saw me sitting and offered to share with me. I got into the lane with her and started swimming. Immediately my mind drifted to silly things.....

"I'm so much bigger than her, does she have enough room?" (This lead to me dragging my knuckles more than once on the side wall and leaving my swim with a bloody hand.)

"She is so much faster than me. I wonder if she regrets asking someone like me to share her lane."

The truth is, she probably didn't think of me at all. I am sure I wasn't in her way and since we stayed to our own sides of the lane, I didn't get in the way of her pace at all. She may have thought of me as she switched to breast stroke simply to make sure that she kept her arms slightly more narrow as she passed me, but I'm pretty sure that was the extent.

I came to the realization that most of what I fear is only in my head. I worry too much about what others look like, think of me, or judge me on. In reality, they're probably more focused on their workout and take little notice of me.

I understand that I need to stop worrying about what others think and stop comparing myself to others. What I am doing and who I am is pretty freaking sweet. Why does it matter what others think. And if there is someone out there who has negative thoughts about me running through their brains? Well, that seems like their problem, not mine.

Don't worry about what others think of you. Worry about what you think of you. Water off a duck's back, baby.

The Difference Between a Resolution and a Goal

I realized around the end of December/beginning of January that I had completely, yet unintentionally, abandoned my blog. I spent the first few weeks of January deciding when to start again. I didn't want to start too soon and look like a bandwagon resolution person, but I didn't want to wait that long since it had been more than 2 months since my last post.

This lead to me thinking a lot about the idea of a New Years Resolution and wondering why I was so against them. What it boiled down to was the notion that many, many resolutions fail. Many goals fail as well, but it seemed worse to be tied to a "resolution". To be clear, I am not anti-resolution, I just didn't feel like it was right for me.

My goals haven't changed since before the new year. I still want to complete a triathlon this summer. Along with that comes the goals of running a 5k again, becoming a better swimmer and getting faster on my bike. But to come out the first week of January and re-proclaim all of those things made me feel like I was cheapening what I had already set out to do.

What I have found is simply that the new year has given me a reinvigorated passion for my goals. While I still feel nervous about completing a triathlon, I am more excited than scared. I don't need a resolution to help me complete a goal, I just need the desire. I got this.

Anniversary

One year ago, I started swimming.

Well, one year ago, I got into the water with a swim instructor.

I knew "how" to swim, but I wasn't very good and I wanted it to become a real workout for me. The first few months were in the smaller of the two pools and involved a lot of walking, or kick boards. I even got to the point of swimming a front crawl with my face out of the water because I didn't know how to breathe properly yet.

By summer, I was in the lap pool, working not only on my front crawl, but also on my breast stroke. Each week I progressed a little at a time. Going further and swimming faster.

A few weeks ago, I swam a half mile without stopping. This is beyond a major accomplishment in my book. It's something I never dreamed I could do.

I get giddy now looking at new swimsuits, goggles and swim caps. I read up on new techniques and accessories to see what my help me become a better swimmer.

Moral of the story? I freaking love swimming.

I feel better after a swim. And when I miss one, my mood is definitely darker.

To celebrate this momentous anniversary, my swim instructor taught me how to do something I never thought I would do, the butterfly. It is a beautiful stroke when done correctly, so I am sure I look like a fish out of water, but I am loving the challenge. I am even loving my war wounds when I take my arms too wide and jam my thumb into the lane line. (Those things are awful!)

I finally really, truly feel like a swimmer. I may have started this journey as just another way to exercise with a bum foot, but it has developed into part of life. Being in the water makes me feel calm and at peace even when my heart is thumping trying to keep up with my workout. After a good swim, I feel like my life is more in order and that I can get back to work, or back home and take on any other task that is in front of me.

I still feel a little self-conscious around other swimmers as I don't have a swimmer body, but as a woman, I feel like that will always be there to an extent. Instead of fretting over it though, I am going to embrace it. You've been swimming since you were six? Well, I just learned a year ago and look at me now.

The Key to Blogging is Consistency

Ah, yes, blogging. That thing that I thought I would do all the time. I thought I would have SO much to talk about. People would be wowed by my awesomeness. The truth is: I got bored with me. If I was bored, God knows the rest of you would have been bored reading about my boringness.

So I thought about how to be un-boring. And I realized the truth. That ain't never going to happen.

What I did instead was find ways to get re-motivated. Sure, I was still swimming twice a week with an instructor and meeting with my personal trainer once a week, but I had stopped pushing myself. I was still scared to walk into the pool on my own. What would happen if the lanes were full? Do I wait? Do I ask to share? Will the other people judge me for being such a slow swimmer? Is it ok that after about 75 yards I have to take a breath every time?

I started becoming less worried about what others were thinking and more worried about how I was progressing. In practice I would swim around an 700, but that was with drills and stopping to chat with my instructor. It was time to see what I could actually do.

So I did it. I started swimming all by my lonesome.

And I realized something awesome.

I can swim a full half mile. I pause here and there for a sip of water, but never more than a 20 second break.

Then I realized something else. My sprint tri only requires me to swim a half mile. And I have until August to get better at it, to be faster, more efficient.

My final realization came. I got this.

I also realized, I should blog more.....