I didn't like being a mom today

Well, it wasn't today, it was two days ago.

Two days ago, I didn't like being a mom.

My baby is teething and I was getting over a stomach bug. It wasn't the feeling off or even her being a little extra whiny that made me not like being a mom, it was the boredom.

Do you know how many things you can do with an eight month old when it's rainy and crummy out? About five things. I was so sick of playing in the living room, then playing in her bedroom, then playing in the living room again. I even put her into her carrier and strapped her to my back to walk around the house a little.

And then she got bored.

And I got bored.

And hanging out with an eight month old no longer sounded appealing.

Then she needed to nap.

I knew she needed to nap. She was clearly tired. None the less, napping was not going to happen.

She fussed and cried and took her socks off and played with her toys.

Finally, when I had about reached my breaking point, I picked her up and brought her into my bed and snuggled up next to her. And we both napped.

The next day was the exact opposite. It was perfect. She played, she napped, she was so much fun to be with all day. I loved every minute.

It's ok to not always love being a mom. Some days, I just want to be Erin. Some days I don't want the added responsibility of having a daughter.

And some days, being a mom is freaking awesome.

I didn't go to the gym today

I wanted to go to the gym today. I even set an alarm to get up before my daughter so that I could pump, go for a swim and get home in time to take over baby duty before my husband left for work. I am not a morning person, but I really wanted to get this swim in, so I was ready to do it.

At 5am, my daughter woke up. Two hours before she normally does.

I got up, fed her, and watched her eyes get heavy again.

Yes! She will eat and go right back to sleep and I can sneak out and go to the gym!

The second her head hit the mattress, those beautiful blue eyes popped wide open. 

Ok, I'll stay up with her for an hour or so, and when my husband wakes up, he can take over and I can still make it to the gym.

I woke up at 7:30, in the recliner, with a baby on my chest.

Things don't always go as planned. Actually, they rarely do in this house. 

Most people are probably wondering why this is a big deal. So, you missed a workout, who cares? Well, it's not just today, it was yesterday as well. And the day before. The day before that I made it though! And the big deal, is that next week I have a 5k. The first race since I had a baby. And two weeks from now, I have a sprint triathlon. 

So, while I fretted and freaked out that I have not been as diligent as I need to be about getting workouts in, my little girl slept peacefully on my chest. So, I stayed there until she woke up, and instead of worrying, I tried to be grateful that I get these moments with her which will not last forever. 

I may not be very fast next week at my race, but, Grace will be there with me, reminding me that she is the reason I try to stay healthy in the first place. And healthy does not mean simply getting up and exercising. It also means sitting and snuggling when you need to. Or crawling around on the floor making your daughter laugh when those teeth are really starting to bother her. 

I'll get to the gym one of these days. Maybe even tomorrow.